just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
