i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I love you. Go after that dick
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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