If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
