My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
