i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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