we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
