Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
