I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Welp...herpes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
