i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
