Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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