well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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