Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
