I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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