I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
