Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
