and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
handjob tips. give me some.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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