She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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