3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
