I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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