Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
