whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
