At least make sure they are 18
Why
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
