How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
