I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
