The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
