I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
