I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
May the power of my ass compel you!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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