Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
