I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
