oh god the rape fog is back!
I CAN MOONWALK!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
