She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Enjoy the penises
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
