I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want her autograph on my taint
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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