was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this will be a night to untag.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
