I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
