This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
