I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
