My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
