I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
