WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
