Nicole vs. Life
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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