i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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