I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
