I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
