My boss' voice literally gives me gas
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
