You're so nebulous sometimes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
