Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
