i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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