I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize