time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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