I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
