Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
