someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I could fuck to npr.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
