I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
