And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
