Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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